Robin Hood (2018) Review
Robin Hood is the latest victim of a classic story being reinvented and turned gritty...and hip. Joining the ranks of Alice in Wonderland, Power Rangers, Snow White and the Huntsman, and Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters, Robin Hood is yet another unnecessary movie where the story comes last when the dark and gritty aesthetic, good talent, and an idea that'll surely jive with the youngsters, and ultimately start a franchise, come first.
The movie starts off with a narrator explaining how Robin of Loxley met a young thief named Marian and fell in love with her, but the evil Sheriff of Nottingham sent out draft notices for the lords, which Robin is one, to fight in his war leaving Marian all alone and lonely and will inevitably hook up with a hotter man. Cut to a laughable action sequence where good looking young men are wearing ridiculous ancient armor that looks eerily like a modern day's bullet proof vest, and using their bows and arrows as if they were guns. But, what truly makes this sequence of events over the top is when you introduce the lords with "arrow-proof vests" using modern day tactics and their enemies, which are Arabian and mind you the whole war centers on the middle east, are using ancient "machine gun arrow" machines. Which probably would have been a good stupid time at the theater if the tone wasn't so abysmally serious.
During the war Robin, who apparently goes by Rob now, is confronted with the brutality of his own people and sees a senseless fight before him each day, so when an innocent is about to die he stands up for him...and fails. The innocent dies, he's chained and is sent back home, but in the shadows waits a man played by Jamie Foxx. This man was the father of the innocent man who died, and he saw Rob's kindness on the battlefield, so naturally he teams up with him and trains Rob to be the Hood and go after the rich that funded this never ending war.
Watching Robin Hood is like experiencing the most boring staff meeting where the topic is trying to understand the younger generation and totally missing the mark. All their decisions to modernize this classic story only did the reverse in pulling me out of the movie. The ridiculous weapons, the fact that everybody speaks as if they were in modern day, or the many themes and sequences that reflect the world today. The tale of Robin Hood didn't need a middle eastern war allegory, nor for him to be a noble to learn the lessons of the poor. Even though those were variations used in the classic tale of him being of noble birth and joined the crusades, the film doesn't know what to do with it. Rob has no family, somehow he owns a lot of land as a young adult and lives in an empty house with no mention of family. His reasons for fighting the law are not because he wants to help the people, but are out of personal grievances. Robin Hood should be a symbol of the people, and their champion of change, but every decision he makes is based off of his lover, Marian. The only reason he helps the common people, and the poor, is because she suggested it.
This version had so many chances to reinvent itself, but instead of coming up with something creative like Marian being Robin Hood, or telling a compelling story, it lends itself to the superhero mythos of now where Rob is above the people, but helps them to get into his lovers good graces. It's serious in all the wrong places and stresses the insanity of a good time all while not understanding the simplest traits that accompany every good Robin Hood adaptation.
There are some redeeming aspects about this movie. The cast are really enjoyable, and Taron Egerton and Jamie Foxx are great leads, but more often than not the script doesn't have much for the cast to do. They try with Marian, flounder with Friar Tuck, and give Mendelsohn the same bad guy spiel that he's done in both Rogue One and Ready Play One. The characters felt tired before they had the chance to breathe, and the story is too concerned with connecting to a younger audience than giving fresh characterization to a classic tale that everyone knows by heart.
After a very dark and overly dramatic Ben-hur-esque chariot sequence, which felt like a third act but really was the second, and a convoluted third act that'll leave you numb in your seat, Robin Hood finally ends with the most stupid villain set up I have ever seen in a very long time that you'll be rolling your eyes so hard that the Earth itself will reverse polarity.
Overall, this movie has to be seen to be believed, but ultimately is one that you'll wait for on streaming. Robin Hood is neither good nor a reimagined franchise starter. It has tired characters, a predictably over stuffed plot, and poor editing that'll leave you dizzy with confusion as you exit the theater. There are a few moments where the characters are having fun and you're having fun, but the amount of bad jokes and modernization this adaptation severely undercuts any good it had and felt incredibly forced.
4/10
