Uncovering the Naked Truth Between Films and Me

They say the cells in your body have a lifespan of 7 years, which naturally led to articles claiming you have a new body every 7 years. While the science behind that headline is kinda iffy, it’s not too far from the truth. Our cells may have a short lifespan but as we age so does our thoughts and tastes change. Since I turned 30 I can’t tell you the amount of times my mom has been astonished with the food I eat. Tastes may change, friends drift apart, and hobbies die. Most of this passes us by in subtle ways. Life is about change, but when that change comes a-knocking on a hobby that has impacted your life it can feel scary.

I went to New York over Valentine’s Day to rekindle my love for movies.

During the 2020 lockdowns I found myself unable to watch movies for the first time in my life. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. Watching stories churn my emotions didn’t have the same effect. I wasn’t excited about new releases. What once was a ritual to catch up on the weekly new releases turned into listless doubt. When I started reading books over movies I had to seriously ask myself if I should give up on film. I had felt like a different person who didn’t know themself.

Over time my love for movies came back, but not strongly.

I still struggle with my relationship toward movies. It’s changed, but it’s not quite out of my life yet. There are still pockets that make my heart swell, and when one of those opportunities opened up in New York I knew I had to go.

My white whale of the cinematic field is of an experimental film called ‘The Clock.’ I heard about it from the podcast Linoleum Knife pre-pandemic. In essence, The Clock is a movie made up of clips from other movies/tv shows that have a clock in the frame. It then takes you through real-time what 24-hours is like cinematically. If it was 2pm in one frame the next would be 2:01pm. And yes it is 24 hours long.

I was prepared on never seeing this film in my life. It only plays at museums and at the time of learning about it I couldn’t find any information on its future. But suddenly, I stumbled upon it. I try to keep tabs — checking in a couple times a year — and it paid off. New York was showing this beautiful experiment. I booked train tickets, told my manager at work, and off I went.

For someone who doesn’t like New York I find myself always going back there. And while I was walking the blocks this time around I think it finally clicked. I didn’t have to like New York. But I appreciated the opportunities it had. And in a weird way I respected that.

This trip was also fortuitous in lining up with an old friend’s Stand-Up Comedy tour.

We were neighbors at college in Vermont (my roommates hung out with her and her roommates) but like most people I met during my time at college I never saw her again. Eventually I reconnected with some over the years via social media and tried to be supportive. She recently got into stand-up comedy and lined up quite a few February gigs, so I decided to go.

My stay in New York was short and sweet — arrive by train, stay a night, have the day to watch The Clock and see some stand-up, stay the night, back on train. My quickest New York trip to date, but easily the most memorable.

To celebrate I booked The Library Hotel in a way to spice up my trip. As the name suggests their theme is library. Each floor is a modeled after a section in the Dewey decimal system. I was placed in the photography room. The package I paid for also included a free book (I chose Jane Austen’s Emma, a mug, and some tea).

When I arrived I was lucky enough to run over to the Museum of Modern Art less than 2 hours before it closed. My first taste of whale was glorious. Nervous, I was, but determined. I stood in the back of this viewing room. It housed 12 couches (big enough to fit 3 and all occupied) with people standing all around the perimeter. I stayed in the back.

The Clock is a dizzying experience. A mishmash of movies — more of which you’d recognize than not — playing upon your nostalgia and expectations. The hour and a half I was there flew by and, just like that, I retired for the night with a chill of anticipation for a further experience.

I had originally wanted to be at the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) all day. Sadly, that was not the case. In an effort to taste more of New York I hunted down a breakfast spot which cost me 30 minutes. By the time I arrived back at MoMA the viewing room was already full. Couches were taken and most of the people were already leaning against the back wall. This time I stood nearer to the screen on the right wall for 4 hours (I did take a lunch break and ate a very cute The Clock cookie). What once was dizzying turned into an emotional experience. Awe, boredom, pain, longing, self reflection, so many emotions and thoughts washed over me in an almost meditative wave while watching The Clock.

It’s also not without critical thinking. One of the reasons this experimental film exists is to deconstruct the editing narrative on how film manipulates time. A prominent scene in The Clock comes from Spider-Man 2 when Peter is delivering pizza through New York traffic while his job is on the line. In the movie it’s a fast cut thrilling short scene, but in The Clock you see this scene play out over 30 minutes as it cuts to other movies. The excitement is cut out of that scene but the meaning, the way you lived with Peter in real-time as he loses his job, was priceless.

I left The Clock with hope, oddly enough. I felt like I had seen something worthwhile. Unique, but also an experience that challenged me mentally and physically.

While I’ve been to New York multiple times I had never tasted New York pizza before. It was time to rectify that. The guy plopped my slice of pizza in the oven and when it came out… ooooh boy, I have never seen pizza sizzle like that! Burned my mouth good.

The comedy show my friend was part of had two slots. An 8pm and 10pm show. She was in the later showing, but this comedy show was so unique I had to buy tickets for both.

On Valentine’s Day my friend was doing stand-up at The Naked Comedy Show.

I had no idea this was a thing, but I’m so glad I went. It’s basically just stand-up, but everyone (except the audience) is naked. 4 hours of naked laughs.

I tried going to a stand-up show with my roommates back in college, but it wasn’t a good experience. Honestly, the only memory I have of it was this woman whose only joke was shitting in public. That’s it. Just describing shitting in public in different locations as she mimics squatting down. Needless to say I haven’t been a fan of stand-up since.

But this was nice. A lot of great people. Some genuine laughs. I was having a great time and I gotta say this experience was unexpectedly cathartic for me. I like to think I’m body positive. I’ve worked on how I view myself for years and not compare myself to models, or actors, or really any unrealistic standard. But no matter how much work I put into being okay with myself there’s always that little tiny voice in the back of my head, and this naked comedy show shut it up. It was electric to see everyone’s body and their own quirks. Nobody is perfect but those comedians stood up there for all to see and hear. Some incorporated their body insecurities into their jokes, but that also made them more endearing. Everyone’s body was different. I know it’s cliche to say, but it was refreshing to see everyone being themselves.

Halfway through a show the host comes out and asks if anyone in the audience would like to come up, strip, and tell a joke. I was so close to volunteering. I’m comfortable being naked, I was sure I could modify a work story into a joke, but getting up on stage to talk to 50-ish people in this very small room… that was overwhelming. It also didn’t help that I was already a little overstimulated from navigating NY trains and then being placed in a tiny room with lots of strangers. I do regret it. Which means I’ll just have to come back to New York so that I can volunteer next time.

My friend was placed in the middle of the 10pm block. She did great. I’m not much of a vocal audience member but I was trying to clap as hard as I could. After watching her clips on social media, and seeing her comedy journey evolve, it was a privilege to finally see her on stage. I wasn’t able to find her when I first got to the club, but between blocks we were able to talk and get reacquainted. She said she was nervous beforehand but when she tossed her robe and walked up onstage it felt like she had the same amount of confidence as I’ve seen in her clips. A true professional.

After some awkward chatting on my part after her show, it was time for me to leave.

My New York trip was over in the morning, but over the course of my day and a half stay it felt like a lifetime.

I thought about how similar the experiences between The Clock and the naked comedy show were. How I got some passion back into my life because of it. I was proud of my friend for finding something she felt passionate for and going for it. I had felt the opposite. As if I were still finding myself, and I think that’s the right feeling.

We all change as we age. Our tastes grow and recede like a lapping surf on the beach. You just have to discover where the compass points to next. And I think when it comes to film that means leaving behind the weekly warrior mentality for me. There is over a century of film history I haven’t touched. There are pockets that I’ve loved but had to walk away from. Passion from film may not be fleeting after all, it merely may have just changed and it’s my job to figure out where that direction heads.